Self-Help Book or Common Sense?

Common sense or useful advice? The genre of self-help books seemed to have earned themselves a certain reputation in the reading community. Readers are sometimes quick to scoff at new self-help books making the shelves, with the impression or knowledge that it will offer ineffectual advice at best. And while others attempt to prove their worth, a handful of self-help books have earned the validation of readers.

A brief glance at reviews of Haemin Sumin’s ‘The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: Guidance on the Path to Mindfulness from a Spiritual Leader’) suggest that they bifurcate into two camps… – one finding that it was a useful read, and the other finding it a waste of time as he merely pointed out the ‘obvious’. I therefore decided to pick up this read to present the authors’ most helpful suggestions and my verdict on whether it is a worthy read.

There certainly were a few lines in his book that made me raise my eyebrows. He writes ‘When you are stressed out, be aware of your stress,… As soon as you become aware of these feelings you are no longer lost in them. Your awareness allows you to witness from the outside. Awareness is inherently pure, like the open sky. Stress, irritation, and anger can temporarily cloud the sky, but they can never pollute it. Negative emotions come and go like clouds, but the wide-open sky remains.’ I appreciate the sentiment, but in every instance where I have been stressed about a situation, acknowledging the pressure I am facing would not dissipate the dreadful feeling. In fact, for me, stress would not ‘go like clouds’ until I have found a solution.

In a chapter advocating for forgiveness, he writes, without much elaboration, the following: “When you lower yourself, the world elevates you. When you elevate yourself, the world lowers you. When you arrive at the peak of enlightenment, you will understand: Your peak is the same height as your neighbour’s. At the peak, you see everyone’s holiness.” I referred to the introduction of this chapter again for a hint of what he could have meant by ‘lower’ and ‘elevate’ to no avail. Through guesswork, I assume that he argued that individuals should not be egoistic or prideful, ‘elevating’ or inflating their worth to be more than it is. However, the notion that we should ‘lower’ ourselves for external validation is perhaps not the best advice. I will not go into more individually, but I’m sure you get the gist of why I would be reluctant to recommend this book to friends.

However, I would say that despite the simple nature of his lessons, perhaps this book is exactly what a reader attracted by the title needs. I can imagine myself, perhaps feeling a little overwhelmed — from the bustle of school, work, socialising, personal upkeep, whatever else it may be — walking into a bookstore, and seeing a book with a title that promises lessons on mindfulness, the art of slowing down and simplicity. Perhaps in that moment, I would not appreciate complicated, nuanced advice, but rather, a book with simple words and short sentences; a gentle book, with gentle reminders to be mindful about our thoughts, actions and feelings. Perhaps his advice is the first step to solving a problem – but definitely not the final solution. To this end, I think the book has served its purpose well.